Deep Purple dreams, rapture, magic of conocer
Whew tengo sueño. The thought of comprehensively trying to update on life since the last post is not appealing – so taking the let the spirit move me thought recording approach instead.
Many times here lately I´ve felt painfully alive, that state-to-strive-for mentioned in both The Secret Life of Bees and now Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood. Can´t stop smiling and singing...what a feeling! Most recently the song of choice has been this one, mentioned in Ya-Ya.
When the Deep Purple falls
Over sleepy garden walls,
And the stars begin to flicker in the sky,
Thru the mist of a memory
You wander back to me,
Breathing my name with a sigh.
In the still of the night,
Once again I hold you tight,
Tho´ you´re gone, your love lives on
When moonlight beams.
And as long as my heart will beat
Lover, we´ll always meet
Here in my Deep Purple dreams.
Vaguely remembered the lyrics when I read them but all of a sudden the tune and that clear voice came back to me...think I heard it often in Ohio.
Am realizing how exciting the consciousness-raising (term for me from this year´s feminist history) can be. So proud of my mom conquering fears and giving a talk tomorrow on women´s international affairs. Have gotten more of a sense here of who I am and what I share with my family: phrase ¨mighty capacity for rapture¨ is in my head (also read this in Ya-Ya).
As for experiences lately – have on special occasions had liminal ones (yet another term from Ya-Ya, that book is chock full of gems!) – meaning experiences where I ceased to think of anything but what I was immediately involved in. Granted this isn´t the norm but continuing to search for ways and places to enter this state of being is exciting...
Erlinda has graciously and enthusiastically taken me or set up visits to different places in Guacimo and Guapiles, para conocer. Magical days of exploration, my intimate knowledge of this area is growing. Nursing home (peaceful atmosphere and very interesting, only had 15 from this whole area as usually families stick together), government building she works in (amazing company as walking with her is like a golden ticket to otherwise barred doors – no lie that one day last week she was stopped for pictures twice and once had to sit down for an interview), churches in Guacimo and Guapiles. Lit a candle at the church in Guapiles and felt a sense of solidarity with the world... Met with the women there who are working to raise money for social justice projects – soda (basically café) and used clothes store. Incredibly journey one afternoon and evening last week when I accompanied Father Juan of the Guacimo Catholic church (and his cute elderly mother now lives alone in Heredia, who I held hands with during the services, and who reminds me of my marvelous great aunt Bebop) on his visits to 2 tiny rural communities: La Aurora and Lomas. That day on our way out he called ¨Let´s take the big one!¨ to his mom (good idea given the treacherous obstacle course like rocky roads), meaning a big truck with a closed in flatbed. There were only 2 seats up front so Juan handed me a sunflower cushion and I got comfortable in the back. Laughed to myself as I bounced along back there at the scene I was a part of. Really neat to see those Masses: these communities are way out there in the mountains (one only got light a month ago) and as a result only have Mass once a month. Impressive work that Juan undertakes – he does 1, 2, 3 of these visits daily.
Other experiences:
First motorcycle ride. Drove it too! Visited a prison (has paradise like aspects..some men commit crimes to end up back in their thatched hut complete with hammock and palm trees). Interesting conversations about machismo and gender relations. Sad realizations about frequency of infidelity.
Traveled this weekend with Jenny, the lawyer daughter in my family, and her fiance Jóse. First stayed in Heredia with Jóse´s brother (loved the adorable chihuahua Paulina, complete with a wardrobe and doggy perfume, and the way she needed to be held to stop the shivers...the Spanish music videos...the food) and then went to San Marcos to stay with the parents. What a change of pace! This region in the mountains is very different from everywhere else I´ve been here. Felt lucky to have Jóse as my friendly tour guide, who better to explain the intricacies of the region than someone who grew up there. San Marcos in a nutshell: coffee everywhere, no tourists, hard workers, strong Catholicism and family bonds, more conservative, in general better off financially, no bars on windows – more tranquilo, superstitious (saw the place where a girl´s ghost appears to solo travelers at night). A hidden underside: high suicide rate due to the insulated feel caused by the surrounding mountains.
Really enjoyed the weekend as it was my first time simply relaxing for that long with Ticos...loved the long girl talk with Jenny in the room we shared, the Abba we listened to in Spanish (Reina del Baile!), the thoughts on American culture we talked about during E!s Top 100 Most Extreme TV moments, the way we peacefully relaxed at the house looking at old pictures and listening to music because it was raining too hard to leave, the food we ate from the mom´s old-fashioned wood burning stove, the tidbits I picked up (cool phrase: Cuando llena, corazón contenta. Also - bananas, like Amanda told me in the past, really do help with stress and sadness)...
Ok, time to re-enter my life here... seems to start on the outside steps of this internet cafe.
Next few days hold my pilgrimage to Cartago (possibly alone), more community meetings, possibly helping to film a documentary over pineapple abuses, and other surprises tbd. May we all experience moments of rapture, and happy connections, in these days we have.
Happy birthday Adam!
Finding paz in different lugares
Saw much beauty today.
Here´s an article to help explain - from 3 years ago, but it tells the story well:
¨All feet are pointing to Virgin de los Angeles¨
http://www.amcostarica.com/073003.htmPretty amazing, especially that people are already walking now. I´m so glad that I´m here for this. In these days leading up to the big celebration on August 2nd, each of the (I think) 8 dioceses of Costa Rica has its own day to travel to Cartago and celebrate a Mass. Today was Limón´s day: I went with Mario in the Guácimo bus. We met at 7 this morning and were in Cartago by around 9:30. On the way heard many many stories from Mario/got to know him better than ever - he´s a talker. Learned about his work (as a manual laborer and later as an administrator) for 14 years in a banana plantation (fascinating-especially that he became an adminstrator without even going to high school, unprecedented), his take on different Bible stories, his thoughts on a son´s girlfriend, benefits of meditation...many random things as he often interrupts himself and has several stories going at a time. We parked a few blocks from the church and then got out to walk and join other parishes from around the diocese. Trying to place myself back there now: it was so powerful to quietly walk with this group. The mass of walkers quickly grew. Policemen kept back the cars. We sang and prayed. Entered the beautiful Basilica (have many pictures but no camera cord, but there´s a picture in the above article). Loved the Mass, especially singing songs on the sheet they handed out. The music was jazzy and lots of songs had a cool funky beat (probably the Caribbean Limón influence!). I´m really proud to be associated with this province. It was neat to see all the priests from every parish process up at the beginning. The place was packed: people standing in every aisle, at the front, at the back... what energy! Walking there I was reminded of Take Back the Night, different but the same (sing that Ben Kweller song to myself, especially this part: You gotta be strong, you gotta teach your son, how to stand up straight when you want to run, how to care and love, how to be yourself, to be different, but the same... but back to the point) Awesome to be part of such devoted and take-action groups of people, in whatever form this takes. Looked at the relic itself for the first time (partially underground), as well as many glass-encased medallions nearby: in the shapes of arms and legs for example, people bring them in thanksgiving for their healing to the Virgin. Had lunch with Mario at a nearby restaurant (yay for arroz con leche for dessert) and then took the bus back.
Weekend runthrough:
Friday
- Foro Emaus meeting in the morning, then walked to Guácimo. Waited for the bus for a while, reading I Know This Much is True, journaling, and realizing how much more comfortable I´ve gotten with being by myself.
- Bus to San Jose (first ride of many over the next few days). Arrived there and took another bus to ICADS, where I was just in time to meet Erika, Jess, Kim, Julie, and Shari. As is the norm for ICADS, all of a sudden everything spend up x100 and we were hurried out the door, with some rapid Spanish bantering from Denny the trip coordinating helper, to the taxis. A little bewildered jumped in, and were taken to the Guanacaste bus station. Ha I love that upon arrival an old man took it upon himself to pull Erika aside and explain to her in Spanish that 3 guys (see them over there? he pointed) were thieves who always board the buses to steal from travelers. ¡Ten cuidado! I´d heard that this bus station was sketchy.
- 6 hour bus ride! Picked up Iara along the way (had been told: watch for her out the windows in 1 hour, she might be there but she might not. ha! typical CR directions) Ate cocitos. Laughed with Erika.
- Playa Hermosa! Friday night we went to dinner at a nearby restaurant...got a casado (rice beans and other goodies) because they´re just so darn good. Caught up with the others and Zach, who was already there. Afterwards we started to walk down to the water but stopped...so dark and a little scary, not the very best area. At least we could hear the water...yay ocean.
Saturday
- Up early to hit the beach. 1st breakfast, where we decided to go snorkeling - how exciting! Did that from 11-around 3...30 minute boat ride to the reef/caverns. Strange at first to just breathe through the mouth but quickly got the hang of it-incredible to swim along and look down at the fish and coral! A feeling unlike any I´ve ever experiences. Felt like I was in Finding Nemo. What sights... also got stung by little jellyfish and scraped myself up when I against common sense tried to snorkel near some big rocks just below the ocean´s surface (wanted to see shells and more fish)-ow when the waves pummeled me a couple times and I fumbled on those rough rocks. Good thing there were no sharks, despite what our guide tried to tell us, or that blood would have attracted them. Still, a marvelous experience overall! I love boats.
- late lunch, showers, trashy TV about the sexiest Hollywood stars that was surprisingly satisfying, then dinner/a ¨culinary experience¨ at a sophisticated and romantic ambience place called Ginger´s. Expensive but delicious appetizers, desserts, mixed drinks. So happy to hear Norah Jones and Marvin Gaye´s ¨What´s Going On.¨Fun night.
Sunday
- made our own breakfast, big production lighting the gas stove and everything. bought our supplies at a local supermarket and made tons of scrambled eggs, toast (I took care of that with butter and a pan since the toaster was a flop), yummy cereal...
- bus to Liberia. lunch at an Italian restaurant. 6 hr ride again-5 of us were in the very back and that ride felt heavenly with the breeze. More story catching up with the others.
- kind of a long story but Jess and I slept in ICADS, on the floor of the computer lab, for the night. Banana split, one armed monkey stuffed animals, unlimited internet, new books to read, kindness from Jose a coordinator--many things worked together to make that an experience to remember.
Finished I Know This Much is True. Definitely recommend it. Next 3 books, excited about all: Divine Secrets of the YaYa Sisterhood, Barack Obama´s memoir, The DaVinci Code.
Yesterday, freshly showered from a good run, I felt maybe the most peace I´ve ever felt as I sat across the kitchen table from Erlinda. The room was dimly lit and she serenely worked to go through the piles I´d made for her. She´s organizing everything with the hopes of writing a book. Every once in a while she would sing me a song/prayer, pass over reflections specifically for this region, explain a little more about these communities´organizing...
Working to craft these last 2 weeks in the campo, then looking forward to tying it all together with the week of reflection/writing in San Pedro.
The contrasts do continue - after the calm evening woke up during the night after a nightmare about a group assault left me shaken, incorporated different parts of my life here - even a part like these women´s conferences where those of us being robbed were taken to a classroom and had to write our names on a sheet being passed around and then next to that write adjectives for how we were feeling. Terrified, overwhelmed, frustrated. Interesting. Back to peace though once the day began.
Happily it´s meal time once again...
¡Suerte!
Guácimo, week 4
In Millenium Internet Cafe with my favorite always smiling girl staffing...accompanied by gente chatting online, listening to music, holding babies, maybe blogging themselves. Played a little music for the first time: used Pandora and when Guster´s Careful came on, though I could barely hear it, I could have cried. Oh music. I´ve been doing research on Argentina and the communities I´ll be in as part of a progress report for SEE the World, a study abroad/service-learning group at Duke. CIA Worldfactbook is amazing. Interesting to read these facts, though at this point hard to make the connection in my head between the stat before me (population:40 million) and the people that it refers to...the people that daily walk to the pulperias, probably eat the renowned steak, and have their own intricate lives. Also sending e-mails to try to pull together a trip to the beaches of Guanacaste this weekend (with 8 other ICADS people and then a random guy from Jamaica). I´ll do the 2 hour bus ride to San Jose tomorrow and then leave with others for Playa To Be Determined (probably Hermosa), which will be another 5 hours. We´ll come back Sunday afternoon. Looking forward to the laughs, ocean, culinary change...
I have enjoyed this week. Community organizing and motivating/educating about piñeras problems in Milano on Sunday afternoon. Stop at a karaoke bar in Pocora Sunday night...attempted to serenade with Don´t Worry Be Happy (though I realized once microphone was in hand that I only really know the chorus, ha oops), My Heart Will Go On, and No Woman No Cry. Final workshop in Limón on Monday-sentimental wrap up. That was an eclectic group-some unceasing talkers, many entrepreneurs with their handmade jewelry, soaps, and painted decorations. Leader´s parting words were along the lines of how problems in this world come from not respecting each other as human beings, and that the work we did learning about negotiation and communication traps etc will help in small ways to combat this. Booked flight to Philadelphia for August-excited to visit Adam! Domestic violence taskforce meeting Tuesday morning, explained below. Afternoon filled with typical campo delights: chickens slaughtered and defeathered, tomatoes in the fridge that are actually eggs from the killed in its prime chickens, bugs that turn into smears on my sheets when I try to flick them off, big bugs that fly into me with a whack (or more accurately--with a ¡Juacatas! or a ¡Chupulun! learned those yesterday when I asked Lisneth if people had ever fallen off the treacherous looking bridge/train tracks that pass over a raging river and that we walk on to enter into Guacimo. Apparently yes, before they put up the fence-drunk bike riders rode off the edge and made those sounds.). Started reading I Know This Much Is True, a captivating 800 plus page novel I found (in English) in Erlinda´s library. I was drawn to it for its printed praise - not only NY Times bestseller and Oprahs pick, but also lots of things about how this book makes you reevaluate everything, etc. So far I´ve found them to be true. This summer I´ve really enjoyed rediscovering novels. Yesterday learned to crochet at Lisneth´s house and at her afternoon class. Working on a butterfly. So awkward at first, and ooh what patience is needed, stretches me. I liked the clarification learning the craft brought: when I first looked at the butterfly Lisneth made, I saw a beautiful but unrecognizable and therefore meshed together in my mind combination of loops and wool. Once I started learning, I looked at her butterfly with new eyes, able to pick out loops I knew. New details became visible.
Whew. This week, like others before, also included:
happy song and sun filled walks to Guacimo
a couple runs to the basura (always stop once I see the trash can. 2 kms. stretch in the soccer field there, take a few minutes to look at the river on the other side of the field, pray, and then head back...)
much rice and beans. new food too: flan, picadillo de papaya
This morning I organized thousands of papers from Erlinda´s shelves. Anti-piñera expansion campaign materials, church and women´s group reflections, prayers, government meeting minutes, phone numbers, photos, collages, also random things like Asian sci fi war fiction... made piles: Foro Emaus, reflections, anti-piñera, publications, no sé. Very revealing to go through someone´s disorganized collection like that. ¡Su vida, en la mesa! I exclaimed upon seeing it all spread out. Made me wonder what my future piles will look like and what I want them to say.
Ok, back to a little research and then maybe some fruit buying and reading in the park before heading back. Until next week! -when I´ll have stories from the new to me province of Guanacaste. :)
light up, light up...
Just left the monthly meeting of the Red (union) Contra Violencia Intrafamiliar (specifically for Guacimo) - my favorite meeting thus far.
As usual, I wasn´t sure what I was facing as I walked into a new place - this time, the Auditorio del Area de Salud de Guacimo. Erlinda dropped me off in taxi (clean and fresh from my first shower with of a pot of rain water! new and different, water´s cut off again). I walked in and there were only 2 others. They confirmed that I was in the right place and I started talking to them: Oscar, a psychology student, and Mariela, a government employee who works with various social problems. Timeliness often doesn´t exist here... the meeting began once two others joined us after close to an hour. I felt the energy giving sense that I was with like-minded people driven by the same things I am - always a comfort. This organization exists as a way for different members of the community (police, government, psychology, medicine) to collaborate and brainstorm methods of addressing intrafamiliar violence. I loved listening to them, and was excited to be able to follow almost everything. Being around people who have jobs I would like to have is always thrilling. It was very interesting to realize the parallels that exist between their obstacles and those of similar U.S. organizations...they spent much time talking about the ¨falta de deseo¨and need to motivarse the community - what will inspire more people to act?
another note about the meeting: ha, more randomness, the (what looked like a defunct) phone rang halfway through the meeting. all looked surprised but Mariela answered it - it was a friend of hers taking orders: did we want coffee or fresco? We all chose fresco (don´t want to caffeine myself out) and so before long she showed up with the juice as well as amazingly rico banana bread that for some reason made me (happily) flash back to a distant Christmas.
It´s taken 3 weeks (and we´ll see what happens in the next), but I can now say that I feel centered (to use your word Aunt P!). Today during the meeting I wrote out my 10s - what Polly Weiss at Duke calls those things that make you get up in the morning. She recommends identifying them so you can make sure that you´re focusing on what you want to be...
The ones that came to mind today are-(grouped them, not supposed to have many)
-collaborating with others on how to approach social problems/direct service work
-keeping up connections with queridos (like this word) - right now, long distance communication, but usually-quality time
-reflection (thinking, journaling)
-exercise
-reading...books and also the world
It was reassuring and confidence boosting to realize that these can and will be my cores in Argentina as well, more than ever. Shifting my thinking from the more philosophical topics to what I want to do to get ready for the coming semester.
Time to walk back for lunch. It is brilliantly sunny right now but chances are it´s the ¨sol de lluvia,¨ and any time it will be raining.
I like wearing my glasses here! Decided that a couple days ago. Adds a new twist to the days (life on the edge I know).
Title is from the Snow Patrol song Run, in my head today. ¡Hasta la proxima vez! Yay for the future.
To be continued
pictures from hoy:
Mario! my father here.
Erlinda talking to the group gathered (around 60 people traveled around today from 8-almost 5...we went to a couple of plantations and an affected school located within a pineapple plantation)
cool quote from a lawyer´s handbook, plantations in background. really like that picture.
Erlinda and cute little Josue
I have experiences and poignant plantation worker testimonies I´m aching to share from today but it´s been almost 2 hours of fighting with these computers - I´ll add them soon.
until next time--
More wisdom from my dad´s desk:
"A subtle conversation, that is the Garden of Eden."
pics from weekend in Cartago/Orosi
I have stories to recount from the gira today, but sadly the computer I was just working on froze in mid-document. Ahh. I think I´ll save the story-telling for another day (tired from going since more than 12 hours ago at 6 am when I helped Erlinda with the 60 plus empanadas for the Gira), probably later this weekend, but I´m going to try that computer again to post a few more pictures. For now I´ll let the pictures do the talking... much food for thought today - I am happy about what this experience is exposing me to.
First, from last weekend....
-volcano
-girls I traveled with
-breathtaking church in Cartago
-relaxing with Erika
-the valley we were in & more, view from above
Picture Time
The week is done and I´m in the internet cafe with only the staffer-he cheerily told me to pick any computer. Que dicha! AND I have my camera and cord with me from the day´s Gira...going to try to post pictures before writing.
The formatting always gets messed up. A few at a time. A typical street in Guacimo - the house and my room - Lisneth - a few surprise guests in the house.
Adelanto
How exciting! Just clapped for joy - took my chances waiting with a couple other people in the internet cafe to see if electricity would return... a bad storm had knocked it out. When I first entered the cafe the girl working here told me ¨no hay luz¨(no light) to which I cheerily replied oh that´s fine and proceeded to sit down - didn´t think about how she was referring to more than the aesthetic nature of light. But yay: it was peaceful to sit here with the sound of the rain and wonder if my luck would come through. Now I don´t have much time - need to return to be picked up for another self esteem session with the women in Pocora. Time for a little update and then hopefully a snack of the yummy fruit mamey at home before leaving.
Ok. Less than a month, as of yesterday, til I return. Trying not to count down the days but I am so excited at the prospect of returning. Still working to adapt to this new way of life. Often it is a struggle...for one thing feel weighed down by heavy food, feel a little bit sick, and then lately the bugs have been attacking more. Yesterday I went to the farm with Mario, Venicio, Josue, and Janet to inspect some cows (they have about 40). Without thinking (since I didn´t know I was going til 1 minute before) I wore pants that leave about 2 inches of skin showing on my ankles. On the way over little Josue said something about ¨you´re going to get biiiiitten!¨ but I looked at Janet´s similar pants and thought I would be okay. Surprise surprise though - as soon as I got out of their truck and stepped onto the grass this army of ants swarmed that bit of skin --ahh felt like fire. Many bites quickly. Then, and a time yesterday morning in a friend´s house when the bugs were attacking, I´ve had to hold my tongue with the stinging. because I don´t want to be a whiner. Another main difference with my life here is the lack of planning/constant spontaneity. This is probably a good thing but still takes adjusting to. An example from this morning: Adrian called to say that the phone was for me. I answered and at first wasn´t sure who it was - a man asked me something about if I could go this Saturday. Luckily I recognized that it was Walter, a guy from the Ministry of Health (always makes me think of Harry Potter), who had talked to me before about visiting a nearby community on bike sometime. I asked him what time, he said 8 and that he´ll call again Friday night. Ha, ok, I´ll be ready, bye. Makes me laugh, constant randomness. The other main thing is missing people. BUT - enough of the venting. This is an adventure.
Must go, but this week since the last update:
Tuesday - another all day workshop with the Association of Women in the Caribbean with Johana. I really like spending time with her. This time discovered she knows James Blunt so we sang that in the bus (wasn´t expecting to be serenaded with You´re Beautiful here). Next week I´m going with her to get a tattoo (tattoo´s for her) from this parlor with a guy who wears a snake! How exciting. We talked about conflict resolution and communication. Was glad to find that I could understand much more than last week, and could even participate.
Wednesday - went to Lisneth´s house again from 8-12 for more embroidering time! I think my time at her house is my favorite... she´s usually there by herself in the mornings. We put on old timey Spanish love songs (as close to Delilah as I can get) and work on our projects... as she worked the sewing machine, we talked about marriage (she married her husband at 14 when he was 26. He picked her out at a dance. She told me about his machismo and how things used to be bad...) and life. She is so purely sweet and giving.
Last night and today I´ve been embroidering. Soon self esteem workshop. Tomorrow is the big gira with Foro Emaus to expose pineapple plantation abuses.
In closing want to quote my eloquent father (hope that´s ok Dad!) because these are important words.
¨We should nurture self-change that moves us further along in a direction toward the flowering of our special gifts. People often laugh at the Noel Coward quotation I have on my wall: "work is much more fun than fun." But there's an essential truth in it. I think that the work we do should engage us in what we enjoy most, though by "enjoy" I mean pursuing activity that's productive in terms of our most fundamental strengths and competencies: we enjoy because we are fulfilling our natures.¨
Continuing on the quest for that kind of work/enjoyment here. Oops, late, taxi time. Hasta la proxima vez!
Echando a perder, se aprende.
Hola gente. My brain feels very foggy/can´t think or write clearly and it´s dark outside, but the guy here at the cafe told me he can call for a taxi when I´m ready...so that´s good not to have to worry about finding one right now. Will update a bit now anyway.
Today was my most tranquilo day yet...very glad for the chance to experience this way of life fully. This morning (after running early for the first time-woke up at 6 and thought why not fit it in before breakfast and while it´s nice and cool, relative term, outside. glad I did that) I walked 10 minutes to the house of Lisneth - an extremely sweet 30 year old woman. She sometimes cleans Erlinda´s house and so I´d met her there-went to her house once and saw all the amazing crafts she does, expressed my desire to learn and as a result today was the day.
After showing me around her house she patiently taught me to embroider. I could write a lot more about this experience - I was continually blown away by her generosity...she clearly doesn´t have much but gave me materials, made a big lunch, took me to class with her from 1-5 at a wonderful organization that offers free weekly classes in sewing, dessert making, computers, random things-for people who can´t afford much in the way of such activities... I really loved embroidering alongside about 10 other women. Lisneth and I also taught each other new words during the day. She taught me dichos such as the title of this post: as I messed up she would say this - basically by making mistakes, we learn. She has a saintly level of patience, which I saw as she constantly stopped her work to unravel the knots I made. After a few minutes of failed attempts I was ready to grab the scissors but no no - paciencia, paciencia, she would say.
I have much to write about from this weekend, but don´t think I´m in the place to do so right now. More to come later - about gorgeous churches, the importance of friends, thoughts of volcanoes... que mas.
I do feel much more grounded in my place here after a little time away with friends. Not doing the weekend justice but dinner - and time to just stop for a little bit - calls. Thoughts right now: we don´t need much to be happy. Yesterday on the bus back from San Jose I asked the very friendly guy next to me what he thinks we need to be happy. His reply was quick and simple: God and family. I agree...seems so clear. Family for me means connections of support and love-definitely includes friends. Aka what propels me through my days. Erika commented that this time and isolation has made her realize more than ever the importance of people. Sounds so basic, but I´ve never felt that in my bones so strongly as I have here with the separation. :) Yay for people who care, reach out, add joy, laughter, support...
Whew time to relax. I feel so appreciative of the people in my life. Hasta luego.
Murdered turkeys, cuchillas, and Mother Earth
Wow, the hourly price in this internet cafe went down to around 40 cents an hour! Que dichosa. Don´t have endless time as I have to catch the 2:00 bus to San Jose, but wanted to update about last night/this morning before I head off.
Last night returned from the internet cafe to slight chaos - the house was dark (as was the sky, around 8:00), and we couldn´t figure out the location of Mario, the dad. Scary - also, the water was out, and one of the big dogs had escaped from its chain and was wreaking havoc in hen and rooster land. Erlinda started running around and I tried to do what I could - mostly just offer a flashlight. Crazy! Luckily Mario arrived on his bike before long - he´d gone to investigate the water problem...and we restrained the dog. Only lasting damage done to 2 turkeys and a rooster...gross to see the dog with feathers in its mouth. All that made me realize how quickly unexpected situations can develop.
This morning - very typical Tica breakfast (gallo pinto, egg, coffee) - but with a bonus: fried plantains! Thought I smelled those cooking...exciting. Not long after breakfast Erlinda and I headed off for the AMUDA farm (This women´s organization of Africa maintains this small organic farm to educate about sustainability). I got my own cuchillo (big knife) in a leather case...as I took it I happily said ahh, poder! (power) Ha, to which Erlinda replied that she had a bigger one. True words - she has one that is probably 2 feet long. So funny to watch her expertly swing that around in the forest, hacking down small trees (seriously) and whatever´s in her way as we walk.
First we planted pineapples - she cleared the ground of weeds and opened up the earth, and I situated them in the dirt. Loved that... I was planting the top parts of the fruit - the part that looks like crazy hair. Felt honored and sort of maternal as I carefully placed them in and then put sticks and plants around them for protection - crece, crece, bebe piña!
Next we walked around to make sure that the trail was in order (again, Erlinda went in front with her sword and hacked away! I loved when she victoriously cackled.) Ingenious use of sticks - example, she found one that looked like a Y and so used it to twist sweet lemons off of branches high above us. Ate the acid-y yet sweet carambola (starfruit) that was growing there. Final mission: we went in search of bananas. Eventually we found some, a bunch of around 50 growing probably 20 feet off the ground. I wondered how we would get them down but soon found out when E started setting in to the thick tree trunk with her cuchillo. This trunk was bigger than my neck. How satisfying when it all eventually collapsed, she laughed, and off we went with our booty. Much respect.
On the way back she asked if I´d worked much with agriculture...no, muy poco. Mentioned that I think working with the hands like that is spiritual, and she said well yes - Madre Tierra (Mother Earth). Told me how the indigenous of Costa Rica see the Earth as very similar to women...one reason being that when we die we are buried within the earth, much like we begin inside the womb. Neat.
Ok I think it´s about time to take the bus. I love traveling independently so am glad for that - but also looking forward to reuniting with the home ground of ICADS and my friends! I´m excited about the weekend and interested to see how it feels being back with peers.
Closing with a quote from The Little Prince:
They heard the roaring thunder of a third brilliantly lighted express.
¨Are they pursuing the first travelers?¨demanded the little prince.
¨They are pursuing nothing at all,¨said the switchman. ¨They are asleep in there, or if they are not asleep they are yawning. Only the children are flattening their noses against the windowpanes.¨
¨Only the children know what they are looking for,¨said the little prince. ¨They waste their time over a rag doll and it becomes very important to them, and if anybody takes it away from them, they cry.¨
¨They are lucky,¨said the switchman.
As Mario and Erlinda often say, ¡Suerte!
Almost half way through Costa Rica time-
Ahh, internet cafe. Happily Erlinda agreed to come here with me - continue on the bus to Guacimo, despite the fact that there is a stop in Africa right next to her house. We came from Pocora, a town close by. Just met with the group of women there that I'll be working with. Special time - the topic of our meeting was Who Am I? and then strategies for raising self-esteem... There were 8 other women there, and we met in a small Catholic church tucked away in an almost-forest. They have Mass there the first Saturday of every month - it is kept locked up the rest of the time, and the crucifix that hangs during Mass is hidden at the front under a cloth. Virma, our contact there, told me that if they left it hanging people would throw rocks at it. We all first wrote our names on pieces of paper and then wrote out positive characteristics of ourselves... very interesting, I was at first tempted to write things like student - but that gets to the story that we read after sharing our thoughts.
translated-
A woman was dying (thought agonizar meant agonizing until just now but no-to be on the point of death E said). Suddenly, she had the sensation that she was lifted to the sky and presented at the Tribunal.
Who are you? said a voice
I am the wife of the mayor, she answered.
I asked who you are, not with whom you're married.
I am the mother of 4 children.
I asked who are you, not how many children you have.
I am a schoolteacher.
I asked who you are, not what your profession is.
And on and on. Kept responding-but could not seem to give a satisfactory answer to the question Who Are You?
I am a Christian.
I asked who you are, not what your religion is.
I am a person that goes every day to the church and helps the poor and needy.
I asked who you are, not what you do.
Evidently, she could not pass the test, because she was sent again to the earth. When she recuperated, she had the determination of finding out who she was. And everything was different.
Your obligation is being... (and then a bit more I don't get all of)
How neat. And how true. I've struggled some with this in communicating from afar - often the conversations consist of recent activities, which should be included... but sometimes I'm left feeling that I haven´'t communicated thoughts, feelings, what is really important.
It's a challenge - but what a worthy one - to think of your spirit before your defining roles when thinking of yourself. I left that meeting feeling a great sense of awe and respect for women and others. They described all the work they do day in and out, first up and last to bed.
This weekend will reunite with ICADS friends - day of work on the farm and then to San Jose and Cartago tomorrow for dinner and city exploration. Saturday morning will head to Orosi, where they have hot springs and hiking. Sunday hope to watch the game wherever I am.
Continue to struggle with missing people so much. Thanks for the comments, they give me energy. :) Bizarre to think of these months away from the states in entirety. Heard James Blunt's High in Jenny's office this afternoon-powerful for me to randomly hear songs I really like here. That was like a meditation.
Ok off here for now-don't know how to end this. Have no doubt that between my moments here I am transported in my thoughts to some other world that includes those who are far away. In the recent past sometimes I've felt numb-but right now my emotions are intense and present.
Have a good weekend all!
oh quickly-this week included
recycling women
all day trip to Limon where I attended a workshop/discussion with 20 female representatives of different groups around the Caribbean
translated for a Baptist mission group randomly
ran a few times
experienced times of such clarity, felt like eyes were open more than ever before to see nature, people, kindness
came down from those highs.
read the little prince--resonated so much with thoughts now! favorite book! read read :)
Monday, Monday
A really helpful guy from the local carniceria just walked me to this internet cafe when I asked for help...it´s not far from the center of Guacimo, close to where I´m working with the women´s recycling group. Good to know.
I like working with these women and hearing their stories...they´d worked to develop this project for 3 years, and it´s been in existence now for one year. Their goal, beyond helping lessen the trash problem, is to learn how to make new products out of the materials they´re collecting-to bring in a profit.
This weekend I started to feel more at peace here. I loved attending my first Mass - interesting to feel a little out of place. With the language barrier, I can better understand how non-Catholics must feel when attending a Mass. However, of course much was the same, and these similarities were very comforting. I smiled while watching others exchange signs of peace (paz); the mass chaos as people quickly traversed the aisles to share their hugs and kisses lasted longer than in most churches I´ve been to - reminded me of being at the Chapel surrounded by friends.
Glad to be entrenched a little more securely here - and very grateful to Erlinda for the exposure she´s making sure I receive. It is still a struggle at times though with my nostalgia - for the past and future at the same time. One thing I´ve done with my time when I´m in these pensive moods is make lists... ´recipe for a joy-filled life, in progress,´ what I need in my life, what I want in my future Duke life, what my passions are... important topics for sure - and this is the thinking I was hoping to do. It´s easier to be aware of some of these things here. Today remembered I want to make a list of things to do before I die.
Back to the women, and this education in Catholic-backed social justice. No other topic I want to work with more.
Update from el campo!
Hello dear ones! Have discovered that there are 2 internet cafes in Guácimo, which is about a 5 minute taxi ride from Africa... (crazy how the internet really is everywhere) I´m happy to be able to write here some on this Saturday a little before noon, feeling good today. This morning I woke up as usual around 6ish (wasn´t sure if that schedule would change on the weekends, but apparently not. For one thing the roosters are loud starting early, and then also I can hear everything in the rest of the house easily - loud music played by Adrian next to me, Erlinda cooking in the nearby kitchen - because there are open spaces at the tops of the walls in most rooms...for ventilation I suppose...windows are also open air, with bars instead of glass or plastic. hello bugs) Ok that was a long in-parentheses description. Read a chapter of 100 Years of Solitude and then had breakfast - gallo pinto (recooked leftover rice and beans), coffee, and surprise! a pancake. Read some more and then went running! Glorious. Glad for that...ran for an hour on a (very rocky) road that I discovered yesterday. Funniest part when I ran past some cows and the 7 or so gathered there slowly moved their heads in sync as I moved past...laughed out loud.
Ok, how to do this - need to revamp my blogging style. Clearly can´t give as much detail as before, or as above - I´ve transferred that kind of writing to my journal. I´ll try to give a summary of my environment and prospective work.
I live in the first house after entering Africa, a community of about 1000 people. Erlinda is my madre/mentor. She is a busy woman who intimidated me upon arrival, and still does a bit though I´m getting to know her more - very, very active in the community, and also one of 5 regional government representatives. She is warm in the sense that I know she cares but in much more of a tough love way than Mary. Fast moving and pretty much always productive. Her husband, in contrast, is Mario, a soft spoken gentle man who I immediately felt at ease talking to. He mostly takes care of the farm. He often tells me fascinating and long stories from locally and also far away (ex: the cities hidden underground in Switzerland, inspired by watching the team play in the World Cup)...can see the grandfather side in him when he does that. Adrian is the youngest, good sense of humor - attends a university in San Jose for some sort of agricultural engineering during the week. Other son is Freddy, who is about 23 and loves all sports, in contrast to Adrian´s love of reading/intellectualism. He works at a supermarket during the day, and his (really sweet) girlfriend Krissia is pretty much always over at night. One daughter Janet lives across the street with her husband Venicio (who works as a prison warden on a one week on/one week off schedule) and 6 year old son Josue (the little brother I never had). Other daughter, the eloquent and fast-talking Jenny, still lives in the house but is currently constructing an apartment with her boyfriend of 8 years Jose. She owns her own law office in Guacimo...impressive. Jose also works in that office, with one other person I think. The house is large and surrounded by constantly circling hens, roosters, turkeys, and 3 dogs. Most people leave during the day for work but usually come back for lunch around 12:30.
As for my work - developing a plan has been a process to say the least. I chose this placement to work with Pastoral Social, a group that does human rights work all over the country... Erlinda is a member, of this and other activist groups, but as her daily work consists of going to different meetings and she isn´t in one central place, my own work plan development is a bit fragmented, and because of the lack of structure I need to take more initiative than I have in the past. A little scary. So far I´ve attended long meetings with her for Foro Emaus, a team of professionals/farmers devoted to stopping unregulated pineapple plantation expansion - because of a medley of serious potential effects - chemical, health, labor rights related and more. Very interesting to observe meeting operation... I´ve also worked with a local women´s cooperative that is doing environmental work by recycling would-be trash, and met with several ladies for are part of other groups to talk about options... worked on the farm of AMUDA, the Africa women´s development organization... visited a school to talk about giving classes there related to violence... a bit of many things.
Last night sat down with Erlinda to form a plan for the next 2 weeks. Glad for that. My weekly work will be all over the place. Tentatively thinking: Monday, work with the women´s recycling group (I like them a lot! wonderful spirits and yay for coffee breaks), Tuesday I´ll go with someone named Doña Clemencia to the city of Limon for an all day conference with a union of women from all over this Caribbean area. Wed will include planning for leading a meeting of women on Thursday on the issue of self esteem! A little overwhelming but there are some good ideas in the works, with Erlinda´s help. More on that later. Friday I´ll work on the farm. The next week at some point I may visit a Guácimo orphanage as well as retirement home, work with recycling women, farm with AMUDA, help the pineapple activists plan for a big 10 hour event on the 14th that will include the media and politicians. Will be working to plan a day of cleaning for local youth for the weekend - and also going to different meetings with Erlinda.
Whew. This summer is an education in community involvement and grassroots organizing... and observing the idea behind the quote ¨Never doubt that a small group of concerned citizens can change the world. Indeed, it´s the only thing that ever has.¨ in action.
Probably time to return for lunch and then different meetings of the day, but a little about my emotions thus far... it´s been very interesting. For one thing, being away at school I noticed with concern that I didn´t really actively miss people-always much going on. In the last week, however, I´ve longed for people desperately - there have been times when I´ve felt utterly overwhelmed/alone because of the number of days that remain here. Lots of tears at times. But then I regain composure and step back into life here. Writing about this part is much more difficult than writing about family details. :) Ineffable I suppose - no way for me to sum this part up at this time.
Back I go. What an experience. Thanks for reading-happy July!
